How cold is it???
What the Frig??? Is it cold outside, or what? There's geese migrating from the south wearing hooded sweatshirts. It's so cold that I saw one of our state senators over in St Paul, walking with one of his constituents, and he had his hands IN HIS OWN POCKETS. Chickens are rushing into KFC, begging to use the pressure cooker! Caribou started serving coffee on a stick! Words are actually freezing in mid air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire! People getting traffic tickets are pleading guilty and begging for the electric chair! The Bloods and Cripps in North Minneapolis are hugging each other just to stay warm. Flashers in the park are running up to women and describing themselves. Dogs are getting stuck to the fire hydrants! The Minnesota Twins are convinced that the Cubs will win the World Series this year--Hell really is freezing over!
Click on the comments button below to see a list of failed Minnesota slogans.
4 comments:
There were these three guys up in Anoka. (That's just a few miles north of the Cities) They got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their garages were. So they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest garage.
They went to the first guy’s garage, where he said, "Watch this!" and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor. "Not bad" said the other guys, but each maintained their garages were colder still.
So they went to the second guy’s garage, and he said, "Watch this!" and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's colder than mine!"said the first guy. But the third guy exclaimed his was colder still.
So they ended up at the third guy’s garage. He said, "Watch this!" and went into the corner and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held a match under it. When it heated up enough, it went "FFFAAAARRRRTTT".
That how cold it is Minnesota today!
Failed but pertinent Minnesota Slogans. . .
1. I came, I thawed, I transferred.
2.Survive Minnesota and the rest of the World is easy.
3. If you love Minnesota, raise your right ski.
4. Minnesota - where visitors turn blue with envy.
5. One day it's warm, the rest of the year it's cold.
6. Minnesota - home of the blonde hair and blue ears.
7. Where the elite meet sleet.
8. Minnesota: CLOSED FOR GLACIER REPAIRS.
9. Land of 2 seasons: Winter is coming, Winter is here.
10. Minnesota - glove it or leave it.
11. Land of the ski and home of the crazed.
12. 10,000 lakes and all frozen!
13. There are only 3 things you can grow in Minnesota: Colder, Older, & Fatter
Funny stuff!
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